You like converting DeLoreans to run on rails.
You like two damsels, one snifter.
You like chaps wearing chaps.
You like grabbin\' the apple while ridin\' drag.
You like lassoing calves, whores, and law-breakers.
You like to answer gunplay instead of phonecalls.
You like straddling the corral fence.
You like drinking bourbon from the bottle.
You like reliving an era featuring rampant bigotry, disease and lots of cousin-fucking.
You like horses drinking the bathwater while you is scrubbin' up ur privates.
You like cussin’ for no reason.
You like saying ‘fuck’ at least 40 times a day.
You like spittin’ and swearin’.
You like kickin’ the dirt.
You like the smell of human filth.
You like differentiating between brothels and whorehouses.
You like the taste of sweat.
You like the sound of curse words.
You like felatio from floosies.
You like men that tip their hats.
You like riding bare back.
You like saloon doors and cheap whores.
You like gun slingin’ and spittin’.
You like enforcing the law from atop a horse.
You like breaking the law.
You like names like Wyatt and Earp.
You like calling adults ‘kids’.
You like telling women what to do.
You like men with pocket watches.
You like cheap drinks and easy women.
You like the stench of bourbon breath.
Learned brothers and sisters, we ask that you please excuse our language. We here have nothing but the best of intentions,
but sometimes our emotions get the better of us. We hope y’all can understand we don’t mean no disrespect.